There is a middle ground in the communication between Dominant and submissive where creation lies, where ideas become negotiations, and scenes play out uninhibited. Scripting such performances can feel inauthentic, and presenting a blank page lacks enticement. What, where, when and why, these are the most important questions for a D/s discussion. What it should […]
Opposable thumbs are a gift to humans because of the ability to master the use of tools, genitals, and also the ability to knead and manipulate sore muscles in a relaxing massage. They are however fleeting, a tease, and perhaps a form of unintended denial. How often have you really had a massage that lasted […]
Those movies where the friends dare each other to go into a haunted house on occasion depict scenes of triumph and moments of confidence and achievement. It’s typically not a mission participants willingly sign up for. What i recall the most about those scenes are two things. 1. The hero / protagonist usually carried something […]
It’s common for submissives to become passive when it comes to understanding what is behind many of the finer details of BDSM. In part this is due to a desire to be given permission to experience it fetishes, or seek only details that are of interest to a Dominant. Research however, is important in BDSM […]
Active submission means that a sub is actively engaged with their Dominant. This can be done though negotiation, scene planning, doing extra things above the expectations to make their Dominant happy. They understand that a dynamic is a journey and not the destination, seeking to grow with their Dominant and be part of the ongoing […]
It is important to understand what’s behind a communication. Think if what you are communicating is really for your benefit or someone else’s, or think about what communication you receive and trying to understand why. We don’t always show our faults when others are looking. When we are called upon to explain our actions, we […]
Pouting, sulking, whining, and complaining, when things aren’t going well we all do it. Some in very vocal ways, others quietly and introspectively. Throwing a tantrum can be very satisfying, it can help relieve stress and it can also let others know perhaps this is not a good time. However, in a public display of […]
There are so many elements that go into every good scene, ensuring communication, safety, consent and negotiation go without saying. Having a clear expectation of the outcomes and goals is also important, but how do you ensure the success of that plan. Time is the most critical component and often overlooked. Making sure that it […]
A friend of mine wrote on his blog about how quick to judgment we can all be, especially when it comes to assessing someone’s motives. Over time we become conditioned by our surroundings, entering a new environment or dynamic can sometimes create a conflict of expectations. The importance of communication and boundaries go without saying […]
Aftercare is the recovery from a scene or play, where a set of actions help the mind and body relate to the change in physical and emotion energy expended. It is common for feelings of sadness or a sudden emotional response to occur in the hours, and sometimes days following a scene. Coming up with […]