There is a common misconception that Dominants instinctively know what to do and have the memory of elephants. Many make claims to support this theory, but the truth is the most involved and experienced Dominants usually set goals and challenges for their subs because they have the same expectations for themselves. Many submissives view the […]
Confidence can be hard to come by, as a submissive it is not always apparent and sometimes not appreciated but you should never be afraid to be yourself and let your personality shine through. For myself it felt unnatural at first, searching for the line between individuality and compliance, asserting and assigning myself a role, […]
Being at the ready, creating the right conditions, there ways to ensure that you are ready to start a new relationship, a new scene, or a new discussion without being overzealous. D types can sometimes create impossible situations where only the perfect situation or predictable response will result in a successful outcome. Submissives will often […]
I often hear submissives and bottoms troubled by the fact that they can’t take as much pain as other people they see playing. A good bit of what we do in this lifestyle involves some type of pain in some form, be it physical or mental. These types of play aren’t just for masochist. Masochists […]
It’s common for submissives to become passive when it comes to understanding what is behind many of the finer details of BDSM. In part this is due to a desire to be given permission to experience it fetishes, or seek only details that are of interest to a Dominant. Research however, is important in BDSM […]
Active submission means that a sub is actively engaged with their Dominant. This can be done though negotiation, scene planning, doing extra things above the expectations to make their Dominant happy. They understand that a dynamic is a journey and not the destination, seeking to grow with their Dominant and be part of the ongoing […]
Those boys in Peter Pan who ended up in Neverland were the ones who fell from their cradles in the nursery. After going unclaimed for 7 days they are sent to Neverland where they never grow up. Girls are never lost because they are far too clever according to the leader of the Lost Boys, […]
Setting the table is a fitting description for how many submissives attempt to get what they want without asking. The concept is creating a pleasing environment for the D, so they either seek to reward the submissive or are simply more likely to be in a playful mood. So why not simply ask? Many submissives […]
Pouting, sulking, whining, and complaining, when things aren’t going well we all do it. Some in very vocal ways, others quietly and introspectively. Throwing a tantrum can be very satisfying, it can help relieve stress and it can also let others know perhaps this is not a good time. However, in a public display of […]
A doily is meant to protect objects, bind objects together and improve the overall presentation of objects. To a submissive, these same characteristics can be applied to the archetype of the D they seek to find. Someone who will provide a safe way to explore their submissive needs, guide them from errors and care for […]