RACK
Understanding the risks is an important step to practicing kink responsibly, RACK attempts to address that need. Risk Aware Consensual Kink acknowledges that BDSM carries inherent risk, and places an emphasis on knowing what the unintended consequences are of engaging in a kinky activity.
In order to ensure both parties are aware of the risks involved, negotiation is required to determine and clearly state limits. Some fetishes can cause physical harm, short term or long term pain, bruising and or lacerations as examples, and need to be identified as the level of acceptable risk for each participant. The same can be said for fetishes that have the potential to cause emotional stress and trauma, no play is to be taken lightly and boundaries need to be established up front.
Limitations:
Some feel that knowing the risks involved and agreeing to them doesn’t make it a good decision. Negotiation is the critical component to making sure the decisions are informed, but there is still opportunity for miscommunication or mistakes from a lack of practical experience.
Suggested Guidelines:
Asking some important questions before beginning and during play will help ensure everyone’s safety.
Questions to ask yourself:
Risk
- Have I researched this kink/fetish properly?
- What could potentially harm me physically?
- What are common mistakes to avoid?
- Does my partner have experience / know the risks?
Aware
- Have I asked all of my questions and reviewed my concerns with my partner?
- Am I confident in my ability to state limits and am confident they will be respected?
- Have my concerns been acknowledged?
- Have my concerns just been dismissed?
Consensual
- Do I feel pressured in any way?
- Do I have any doubts?
- Have I been coerced into this?
- How will I feel tomorrow if I go ahead with this?
Kink
- What are all of the elements of play involved?
- Am I aware of all the desired outcomes?
- Do I have what is necessary for a scene?
- Have I thought through my self care / aftercare needs?
The key to be able to provide informed consent is to educate yourself. Take responsibility, be proactive; read, research, discuss a ride range of various kinks, fetishes, dynamics and lifestyle activities. You just never know when you might need that information to make an informed decision.
PRICK
Ensuring each person understands their responsibility and commitment within a scene is the underlying principle behind Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink (PRICK). What is different in this philosophy is the focus on accepting the due diligence in assessing risk by both parties.
Researching the possible outcomes, both Top and bottom are held accountable for their ability to understand what they are agreeing to, and executing to the best of their knowledge. PRICK assumes each person is able to make a clear decision about what is an acceptable level of risk they are consenting to.
Criticism:
Depending on the level of experience and amount of research, the skill required and knowledge of potential mistakes and outcomes will vary person by person. Particularly, beginners could be at a greater risk of harm without being fully aware of what can potentially go wrong.
Suggested Guidelines:
Asking some important questions before beginning and during play will help ensure everyone’s safety.
Questions to ask yourself:
Personal Responsibility
- Am I taking this decision seriously?
- Am I willing to accept the consequences?
- Have I considered the consequences for others?
- Do I trust myself to make this decision?
Informed
- Have I reviewed all the dangers of this activity?
- Do I understand the outcome of mistakes?
- Is there anything I need to do to be prepared?
- Do I understand my partner’s ability?
Consensual
- Do I feel pressured in any way?
- Do I have any doubts?
- Have I been coerced into this?
- How will I feel tomorrow if I go ahead with this?
Kink
- What are all of the elements of play involved?
- Am I aware of all the desired outcomes?
- Do I have what is necessary for a scene?
- Have I thought through my self care / aftercare needs?
We all need to take a level of personal responsibility in our choice to engage in the BDSM lifestyle. While it maybe the Dominants responsibility to keep their sub safe, it is also the responsibility of the sub to communicate and safeword if necessary and before it’s to late. It is a 50/50 partnership, even in power exchange one can only have as much control and power as the other is willing to give for it to be consensual BDSM.
Contributors: This article was researched and written by Umlindi, edited by Mistress Michelle and published by Umlindi.
These educational topics wouldn’t be possible without the hard work and dedication from our Dom(me)sLife contributors – Thank you MM