Edge Play is one of those terms that seems to have two different meanings within the community. What constitutes edge play to one person, might seem like licking vanilla ice cream to another person.
- Term One: Some people consider edge play to be an umbrella term for a list of kinks and fetishes considered to be more on the controversial and taboo spectrum. Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), breath play, water sports, medical play, blood play, blackmail. Many forms of role play can also be considered forms of edge play: rape roleplay, incestuous roleplay, kidnapping roleplay, sexual assault/harassment roleplay, fear roleplay and even age play.
- Term Two: Edge Play is engaging in any form of play where you feel your most vulnerable, things start to feel risky, personal boundaries are pushed or your limits are played with right upto the edge of what you can physically and/or mentally tolerate.
Regardless the school of thought you view edge play with, both definitions center around practicing a form of BDSM that carries a higher degree of risk. Bringing someone to their most vulnerable state and exploiting it for mutual gain is Edge Play. Finding acceptance for actions and feelings we would otherwise deem unacceptable to experience or discuss leads us to explore a form of edge play. It is a vulnerable admission of intent, not only to willingly experience or participate in something others would consider unpalatable, but something you acknowledge as well as being unpalatable.
It is common for fetishes and scenes considered edge play to require consensually pushing someone’s limits. This could be because of a fear associated with either a physical act or a situation that causes us to consider it out of bounds. We have limits to ensure we protect ourselves from emotional and physical trauma, testing those waters requires a calculated approach, with someone who has experience, and is completely trustworthy. Careful research and transparency are required by both parties to ensure nobody causes irreparable damage or worse.
The Top’s Responsibility in Edge Play:
- Do all necessary research involved in creating a safe environment
- Negotiate consent while explaining all of the risks that will be involved
- Evaluate and reevaluate consent, listening for signs of withdrawl or regret
- Be honest with yourself and partner about your ability and experience
The bottom’s Responsibility in Edge Play:
- Be honest about any physical and emotional limitations, there’s no room for ego
- Accidents happen, take it seriously, provide emergency contacts
- Provide and be prepared to use safewords / signals
- Ensure before taking part to remain and begin in sound/sober state mind
Questions for edge play practitioners to ask themselves:
- Why am I considering playing with this partner’s edge?
- Is this type of kink/play really something I am okay with?
- How will I feel about it afterward?
- Have I done all I can do to educate myself in this type of play?
- Was my negotiation enough to be considered consent?
- Was the communication clear enough that I feel that my partner won’t push me over the edge of my limits? Do they understand where the edge is?
The most important thing to know about edge play is that it carries the highest risk and requires the most amount of time and research. It’s serious business, take it seriously.
Beware of any Dominant who boasts about their ability to participate in multiple forms of edge play, as well as submissives who claim to have no limits. Remember that the edge is different for everyone, it isn’t something you can practice and master. Having previous experience means little without clear and concise communication and negotiations.
These educational topics wouldn’t be possible without the hard work and dedication from our Dom(me)sLife contributors – Thank you MM