I have a tough time exposing my fetishes outside of the scene and i want to find ways of overcoming that issue. The most challenging thing for me to do is feel submissive in a place of uncertainty.
Consent has always been at odds with a desire to freely express my submissive personality. Does anyone really care if i am wearing panties? If i expose that part of me am i forcing someone to become part of my fetish? I have no doubt this has happened, i also believe it was not seen as offensive when i bent over or reached high for something, etc.
Where is that line and how do we define it? Better yet, what are the ramifications of crossing that line? Sticking with the example of panties, someone knowing that i am buying them or wearing them only concerns me if it makes them feel uncomfortable. I can hear you over there saying, but you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s none of their business, they shouldn’t be so closed minded. I am a person who cannot feel comfortable and safe unless others around me feel the same way.
It’s not a question of right or wrong how i bubble wrap the world around me, it’s a question of where i can feel comfortable being myself, and what i learned is that it is something that has to be experienced in order for me to know.
If you are like me, this is what has worked to explore letting the outside world in, and letting the inside out. The first time you try sharing something new, test the waters. Dip your toe in by pairing your attempt at sharing something uncomfortable with something familiar. Do you wish you could ask that lingerie clerk for help choosing your panties? Go in and ask what you need to know before buying panties for someone special. Maybe go again and ask the same question without the second part, what do you need to know about buying panties as it’s new to you. Then if the reaction was something favorable try again asking what you need to know buying panties for yourself.
I remember buying these panties, i didn’t know stores like Victoria’s Secret alway have discounts for buying multiple pairs. I found out at the counter and went back, chose two more, i had to ask if they were applicable. I was so proud. Gee these panties are old, I don’t even remember the other two, but i remember the experience that first time all the same.
That’s what makes these panties special 😉
