Pride can sometimes prevent us from making sound decisions, whether it is decisions in sexual practices and sexual partners, or engaging in fetishes and scenes. Something often overlooked is the role of the protector, and the need for having someone to help evaluate situations that could place you in harm.
When the discussion of exploring local scenes and groups comes up, it is common to hear kinksters refer to their disappointment in not having someone to go with, or not finding it easy enough to break into a conversation or someone to connect with. There’s a reason for that, all these groups have protectors, and many individuals will act as protectors within a leather family. Finding out who is at the heart of a group is pretty simple, usually they are the organizer or if not, asking who is a good person to introduce you in a group setting will reveal those trusted sources.
When you have a protector, it is still your responsibility to inform them of your plans, listen to their advice and act accordingly when they are not present. A little story to illustrate my point, i once placed my genitals in a high powered hand dryer to impress a Domme – it was only a bit of fun, humorous, and i was only too proud to share the tale of how my bits were pulled hither and tither – i received a very stern reprimand for being unsafe, placing myself in harm using randoms for pleasure. I didn’t feel the need to ask before acting in this situation, and i shouldn’t have needed to, since my protector expected that i knew this was their position, and it was so.
There is also exuberance in engaging in play, you may not see a vulnerability that a protector will observe. Knowing if you haven’t slept right, if you’ve recently recovered from illness, if you were discussing a headspace not conducive to play, allows a protector to ensure you aren’t setting yourself up for failure.
If you are the protector there are a few guidelines as well that you should follow. Given the transparency of the one you are charged with protecting, the awareness of their vulnerabilities, it is easy to become overprotective given the responsibility you now hold for their care. Ensure you provide milestones if you feel they need to ease into a new situation or return to play after a period of time. Find others you trust if you are unfamiliar in an area of care, whether it’s a new kink or fetish, or a new location of play, you will help your charge by setting them on a safe path you can monitor.
Being open and transparent about your goals, rather than your needs in these situations ensures both protector and charge (protectee) will feel their input is valued and that there is a share goal moving forward.
These panties are brazenly transparent.
That’s what makes these panties special 😉
