There are a lot of writings about journals and how important they can be in a D/s relationship. I have read many over the years and a few have really struck me as either great resources to share or solid reminders of the meaning behind a journal. Funny enough though I personally never started one until Mistress asked me to and now, after a few years of doing it, the daily interaction with this peek into my mind on a daily basis is now full of invaluable information to me not to mention one place I can go to simply sort my feelings. So let’s take a closer look at what journaling means to me on this journey and some of the important aspects to include.
Let’s begin this adventure with what a journal actually provides for both sides of the relationship. I will start here because my understanding of this was completely incorrect when I began and hopefully this will clear up a few misconceptions for others as well. What it does is provide a safe place to put your thoughts, feelings and emotions down so they aren’t bottled up inside, often times allowing one to sort through them as they tumble out onto the page. It also keeps a record of things tried, what worked well and what maybe didn’t work so well. Ideas for future play or alterations to past experiences can also be kept here. This living document will reflect your journey and allow your Dominant to quickly get an idea of how things are progressing for you both or, just as importantly, early warning signs if your fragile mental state is heading in a direction that could be potentially devastating.
A second valuable part of the journal is to keep track of and plan out where you are heading with your journey. It is very easy and super common to lose focus on the direction you want to be traveling without some goals and, just as importantly, a reminder of them. Knowing what you have done, how it made you feel, changes that could be added, triggers that were found or possibly created and simply the overall health of you and your Domme during these experiences is invaluable for pulling down walls and creatively setting up new scene ideas with full understanding of how they potentially could affect you both. It allows for a much more inventive experience along with deepening trust to know the boundaries yet at the same time have all of the tools available to put together some intense scenes not to mention the psychological insight to challenge limits and push hot buttons.
Another great benefit from doing a journal is that you can use it as a reference for days when you might be feeling down, a feeling dump at times of need or just to spread out your thoughts and organize them again. Each of these things are extremely beneficial to your mental health and can help keep your mindset moving along in a positive manner. I personally also like to browse back through mine on occasion to just remember some of the absolutely wonderful experiences that have happened, always brings a big smile to my face and reminds me how truly lucky I have been.
To summarize a journal in a D/s relationship and life in general is of great importance to both sides of the slash in numerous yet vital ways. The accountability that comes along with writing things down is such a useful tool to each of us. An open forum to spread out your thoughts and feelings or even questions can be extremely helpful as well. A daily peek into the mind of the submissive allows the Dominant to ensure safety and direction are still a priority and early warning signs can be easily missed by the sub involved because of the intensity of the situations. Likes and dislikes are wonderful yet the reasoning for each along with the resulting feelings is something unique and special. These simple writings can allow and create a bond of trust and transparency that otherwise may be difficult to achieve.
Enjoy your journey and make the most of this experience!