BDSM Education


 largely understudied fetish, dacryphilia can often be broken down into 2-5 subcategories (depending on who you ask).

1.sexual arousal from someone displaying strong emotion
2.sexual arousal from the emotional release that accompanies crying (i.e., an emotional catharsis).

There are a couple more specific subcategories(voyeuristic, lower lip, ext…), but these two specifically seem to be the most common. The root of the fetish t ends to come from two different mindsets, one being sadistic or masochistic. In this mindset, the goal is to (whether the crier or viewing) do so out of the want to push/be pushed passed a physical/emotional limit, put into distress or cause distress in someone. one article refers to a example of this played in a scene.

“There I was, freshly whipped and waxed: pinned underneath him and crying, begging him to stop, sobbing with terror while he hit me again and again around the face, each blow causing the panic and confusion to rise in me further. And worse: he was not just enjoying my terror, he was getting off on it.

I can’t


Please don’t make me

Please stop

I’m sorry


Please don’t

Please stop

(etc, sob)”

“But brutally he fucked me through my desperate, teary pleas, my patheticness spurring him on into me faster and harder. I was wretched; blind with fear; so desperate for it to stop.”

“I don’t remember the end. I think I blacked it out. Apparently I did what he wanted finally… but I don’t remember. I was completely broken. 
Did the crying experience turn me on? At the time I’m not sure. Apparently I was very wet. But then my body has always been a slutty masochist. The mind is harder to fathom. At the time I was desperate for it to stop. But afterwards, looking back on it I found it so hot. I still think about it sometimes when I touch myself.”

Clearly from the experience, this sub had this is not something to be played with lightly, there are many ways this could go wrong, fortunately for her she is able to look back with a positive outlook on the experience.

The second mindset is set around the want to nurture or support someone, as one describes it

It’s not ALWAYS more pleasurable for the dacryphiliac to cause the tears. I’m a dacryphiliac and I would prefer not to be the one making the other person cry. I’m also a woman, not a dominant man, and comforting the crier is a major part of the fetish for me, as it is for many dacryphiliacs I have interacted with online. Don’t be sad for us, we’re not all sadistic creeps.’

These Dacryphiliacs enjoy the fetish almost for the aftercare specifically, they enjoy pushing or being pushed to tears with the goal and intent of comforting or be comforted. (although I would hope those doing this with the sadistic mindset still do so with Very good aftercare).

aroused by the compassion of comforting the crier. They also noted their common sexual fantasy is meeting a person who had a hard life and being able to comfort them.

So, after learning what I have does this interest me? I think to an extent I could be aroused by it, in the same way sometimes you want to watch a sad movie (This Is Us?) because you just need a good cry, or even with the intent of pleasing a sadistic dominant. In practice, it would need to be something carefully done. lots of rules set before the play, a clear safe word, and very good aftercare. 

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