BDSM Education Beginners Guides

Anal Play with Toys for Beginners

This guide is designed to give you the tools required in order to begin having enjoyable anal play using sex toys.

There are suggestions for how to select toys, how to properly and safely maintain them, and finally a guide for how to begin using and enjoying them.

Before you begin

Selecting your toy:

Starting with a Butt Plug

Make sure any anal toy you want to use has a wide base that’s wider than the width of the toy itself and provides a good “stopping point.” The base of the plug is supposed to stay outside of the body for easy removal. So, if it looks like the toy may slip entirely inside the body, you may want to consider a different type of butt plug.

The biggest rule of thumb is to go smaller in size rather than larger. You can always purchase a larger plug after enjoying your time with a smaller plug. However, you might find it hard to enjoy your sessions with a plug that’s too large for you.

Image result for butt plug

Choosing a Dildo

One of the most common mistakes is assuming that bigger is always better. That is why it is always a good idea to have a sense of what is comfortable for you and/or your partner rather than assuming that any size will be fine. If you are unsure, keep in mind that it is always possible to make a dildo feel bigger by adding a penis sleeve to it, however, a larger dildo cannot be made to feel smaller.

If you desire a dildo that has testicles or a flared base, remember to notice what the insertable length of the dildo is rather than the overall length. A realistic dildo looks similar to a real penis, however, it has nothing to do with size or color for that matter. Some people make the mistake of thinking that when a dildo is marketed as realistic that it is describing the size of an average man’s penis. The reality is that typically the opposite is true as many realistic shaped dildos are quite large and are much larger than most men.

Choosing the right size

Before purchasing a toy, you may want to try anal pleasure with fingers and purchase a toy that’s similar in size to what you enjoy with your hand. This is a good idea especially if you’re hoping to use your butt plugs to work up to penetration with a dildo. Many sets include plugs of similar designs that slowly increase in diameter.

As for length, we will g-spot in a woman and the prostate in a man are located only 2.5 – 3 inches inside (may vary slightly in some people). Therefore, it should be noted that long dildos are not always what people desire. In fact, that is why shorter, curved dildos are so popular as they help to reach both the g-spot and prostate more effectively and the curve stimulates with pleasurable pressure.

Make sure you have the right lube

Choosing the right lube
Much like everything else in life, most people have preferences towards a specific type of lubricant. Some people really love water-based lube for its ability to simply clean up or be compatible with most materials. Others swear by silicone-based lubricant because it lasts for such a long time. It is important that you choose the right lube for your butt plug and dildo.

Water-based is compatible with all materials. Silicone-based lube can be used with most toy materials, but it may not play well with some silicone toys. Silicone on silicone for example will slowly cause the toy’s outer material to degrade and therefore is unsafe to use.

You are ready to begin anal training

Step 1. Start with Cleaning

The first thing you need to do is take care of hygiene. To start, simply use the bathroom naturally and clean out your pipes.  Afterward, take a shower and clean the entrance and about an inch inside with a finger.

To make this easier, you can push outwards slowly (like you are going to the bathroom) and wash up the skin inside. Here, I don’t recommend using much soap because it can cause irritation, but make sure you clean up well first. In most cases this will do the trick. If you are still worried about hygiene you can always use an enema to really flush things out (full guide here).

Step 2. Get lubed up!

When learning how to use a butt plug, or delving into anything anal, using a good anal lube is a must! This is because your anal tissue is very thin, extra sensitive, and although this means it can make anal feel amazing. It also means that you can hurt yourself if you aren’t extra careful starting out.

Your body does not produce a natural anal lubricant so you must use a lube if you are planning to use an anal plug or dildo. Re-applying after longer periods of time is very important, especially when starting out. Your body creates heat and lube will evaporate over time so be aware.

Some lubes include relaxing or numbing agents, these can be helpful with more experience, but should not be used during an introduction to anything new. If you are not able to feel pain you may not realize when you need to stop or slow down. For ongoing practice different types of lubes can be beneficial and fun to try.

Step 3. Choose a comfortable position

Find a position that gives you good leverage. The arm that’s operating the toy will need to stretch further than you usually do when you masturbate. Sitting up in bed with some pillows propped behind you is usually doable. Lying on your side with knees bent, squatting or kneeling on all fours can be helpful as well, try a few positions and find what works best for you.

You want to be relaxed before starting for the first time, getting turned on is a good way. One of the challenges of using anal toys is getting your muscles relaxed enough for penetration, so do whatever tickles your fancy: put some fingers up there, masturbate, watch porn, fantasize, you get the idea.

Step 4. Insertion

Put a generous amount of lube on your fingers, and apply the lube to your anus. You can push your fingers in a few inches to get some lube inside and prepare yourself for the toy. The toy should be lubed enough that it practically slips out of your hand.

Holding your toy in your dominant hand, press the tip of the toy against your anus, hold it there for a few moments while your body adjusts to the pressure.

When you feel ready, gently push the toy in about an inch, then hold it there. If this feels painful or like there’s too much resistance, slowly pull the toy out. Angling the toy at a 45 degree angle is best to help the head of the toy breach, but also is the most enjoyable angle to receive pleasure. Point the tip of the toy toward the genitals (male or female).

If all systems are go, slowly slide the toy further in, an inch at a time, taking breaks to hold it in place. If it feels like your butt is pushing your toy out, you can sit up a bit so the base comes in contact with your bed and keeps the toy inside. You can keep the toy stationary, and enjoy the sensation of fullness it creates. Or try moving it in and out or around in circles.

Care and Maintenance

Cleaning and safety:
Hygiene can mean the difference between contracting an infection, or staying healthy. But cleaning your vibrator, dildo or any of your adult toys, is not as simple as washing them in the sink with some detergent and hot water. There’s a lot to consider when tackling sex toy hygiene: the material of your toy, whether it’s got a motor, or twists, turns and crevices, and so forth.

Truly a classic, and a pretty accessible form of sanitization for your toys, dumping dildos in the dishwasher can be a hassle free way of getting them squeaky clean. Obviously, a lot of electronic toys, namely vibes and wands might not pull through an ordeal in a dishwasher, so it’s important to check the fine print on your toys before throwing them in with your dishes.

Hand Washing With Soap
A no-brainer, hand washing your toys with warm water, and a gentle antibacterial soap (we recommend using either a hypoallergenic soap, or a sex-toy cleaner; guaranteed to not irritate your bits) is an accessible and easy way to clean your sex toys. Obviously, when dealing with non-waterproof vibrators, like the Magic Wand or Womanizer, you will want to forgo holding them under running water, or submerging them completely. Opt for using a damp cloth and a bit of soap instead.

30 Day Anal Training Program

Below is a downloadable 30 day program with daily tasks to get you from an anal beginner to a regular butt hole sinner. By the end of the 30 days period, you should be ready to ride a dildo for 10 minutes. Each day is intended to be a 15 minute session. Remember, the goal is to enjoy the sensations gradually, if you need to repeat a day, then repeat a day before moving to the next.

The program is designed for use with a trainer set of butt plugs (small, medium, large) and a small dildo. If you have only one size plug, where the program suggests changing sizes, simply remove your plug, re-apply lube and continue as instructed.

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