Define blood play? When I hear blood play i think of some type of WAM play. And that’s a nope for me. Now if moving on to something like blood cupping or needles, I’m okay with it just as long as I know ahead of time and can prepare for it. Blood doesn’t bother me at all, just communication and being aware that there will be blood.
–Bryan
Blood play is something that at one point was a hard limit for me but has slowly moved off that list. It’s something that still requires an immense amount of trust, but I have been exploring it some for a while now. Other than accidental skin breaking during impact play, I have experienced blood play a handful of times with needles, and I am currently researching artistic cuttings. I’ve seen blood cupping done and it is something I am curious about.
Basically, you make a small cut in the skin and the use vacuum cups over the wound to draw more blood out. I’m sure it was some kind of ancient medical practice. The scene I saw it done in they the used the bottoms blood as paint on a canvas. It was pretty cool.
Note: The top in that scene was an actual medical professional.
I think blood play can definitely be WAM, but it can be pretty controlled also. The amount of knowledge and trust it takes might be the thing that intrigues me the most honestly.
-Lady A
I appreciate blood in both an artistic and sensual way. Much like you would watch a leaf fly off a tree in the Autumn wind. Watching blood drip and flow down the skin is incredibly sensual and even arousing to me. I don’t have the experience to speak much further to it, there is tons of risk and safety to take into account before doing any play with the intent of causing a person to bleed. That said, it’s not always even real blood, kinks like vampirism or even blood WAM often use fake blood for the actual play which foregoes the majority bodily risk when using real blood.
–Madam Ondine
This topic reminds me of when I was in first grade moving back and forth from Poland to the US for 2 years and i would cut my fingers with scissors in school. That being said I think I would have to agree with Lady A that it’s a hard limit that has been moved to a soft limit but could only be done with a very trusted Domme in an extremely controlled setting. I wouldn’t want to be scarred by the blood play and I don’t know that much about it but it seems fascinating and would evoke some exciting emotions.
–Mark
Masochism requires a sustained influx of endorphins and adrenaline to maintain a euphoric state of pleasure, when that heightened physical state is gone, the euphoria subsides with it. Consider that pain led to pleasure and that the absence of pain removes it, the emotional need to is to restore or maintain pleasure through mindful practices both physically and mentally. The principles in aftercare broadly support this, but are not the only way to restore pleasure or maintain it when pain is removed. Within a scene, sensual play can replace impact play or become part of it, sexual arousal is also a way of prolonging and rewarding masochistic activity. Prolonged aftercare involving ice, lotion, bandages, whether needed or not, also can play a different role to a masochist adding value to the actions associated and ensuring they remain a positive influence and feeling as the body rejuvenates and recovers.
–Jem
Everybody’s different, no masochist have the same needs as the other. I need communication, I need trust, I need to be able to consent and be able to enter into a headspace that will allow me to accept the pain. Its a dance between 2 people. I need to be able to forget about work life, personal life, stress, whatever the case may be and basically live in the moment, regardless of who its with. If Im at that stage where this is happening, the trust, the communication, consent should already be there. As far as aftercare, that depends on the scene. Could be little as putting my clothes back on and talking for a bit, could be as much as taking care of wounds, the need to remain in that headspace for an extended period of time and come out slowly, as well as time together, that day and the next few days.
–Bryan
I think in order to heal often times it is the need for the subconscious to become conscious thought. While I’ve learned to eliminate the thoughts associated with the sadness often times the feeling of sadness still remains. To avoid the feeling of sadness I tend to seek forms of pleasure. However the forms of pleasure are often associated with painful situations whether it be psychological, physical or emotional. I think the main thing that I need is to be controlled by trusted Dommes who will help me further explore these feelings in a safe and controlled environment to continue to grow as a human.
–Mark
I don’t agree that Dommes can’t be brats, essentially breaking rules habitually for the sake of generating a response, i have seen it on multiple occasions. However, the topic of double standards intrigues me and i have a serious issue with the lack of knowledge and protocol around Domme drop and aftercare. I would love to run a Domme drop clinic, i have participated in sub drop clinics and seen the value, i think it is a big miss that one doesn’t exist for Dommes. Within a D/s relationship and within a scene, the D assumed responsibility over the s, but i believe there should be accountability for the submissive and the Dominant to ensure proper protocols and routines exist for both, in daily activity, in play. It makes the conversation of Domme brats more tangible if those dynamics exist and to me that’s the double standard.
–Jem
The definition of brat is a child, typically a bad behaved one. Philosophically speaking I often view people as adults yet children and heart. I don’t think it’s a double standard though. Dommes generally have a greater a sense of control of themselves while submissives will beg and whine to get what they want letting emotions fly in a bratty way. So there are just a lot more submissives that are on the bratty side then the Domme side who often find themselves responsible for the well being of the submissive so maintain a higher sense of self-control. An occasionally Bratty Domme sounds fun though
–Mark
Keeping everyone happy and making them feel special and unique is always a struggle. Every day is different and everyone always acts and reacts differently. Some automatically get jealous, go quite or even passive aggressive. Jealousy causes the worst to come out in people no matter what your agreement or relationship status is. This is an every day struggle for me and one I don’t enjoy.
–Mistress Michelle
I never had multiple play partners. It’s mostly because of the nature/nurture concept where my parents have stayed together through thick and thin my entire life. The emotion of jealousy is often a painful one and I’m not the type that enjoys invoking pain onto others. With the correct communication I could see how it could be a pleasurable experience for everyone involved.
-Mark
Considering almost everything I do is outside my comfort zone, which is sitting around my apartment doing nothing. It’s difficult to recall the first time I was pushed out of it, so I will talk about a recent time. I felt totally awkward and uncomfortable about the public edging initiation tasks. Luckily I was able to think of something and get it done because like everything else here at Diva’s Dungeon. Making it through these tasks each week is a rewarding feeling if not only for the bravery and the will-power that it sometimes takes to complete them.
-Mark
I think everyone who enters BDSM encounters this very early on, so we often share that the best advice is to take things slow and not let frenzy get the best of you. My first fetish explored was wearing panties, i had bought a couple male thongs before and even that was difficult for me. Actually, i think it still would be. I researched a few panty wearing groups and asked the question, how does one begin. A Domme responded and i asked Her advice. It pretty quickly escalated to me leaving the house buying multiple pairs of panties and yoga pants, then wearing them and walking around while visitors were in my house. It was a lot to take in, i was really uncomfortable doing any of it and regret putting others in a similar uncomfortable position.
-Jem