BDSM Education Beginners Guides

A Guide to Protocols

I love my protocols, I know it’s not a kink or a fetish, but it is so impactful to my every day routine that going without them is now a hard limit for me.

Here are some considerations for creating protocols, a guide for Dommes and subs.

What is a protocol

A protocol is any code of behavior, or rituals within a group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic.

There are no set rules about universal protocols is because every power relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.

Types of Protocols


Invisible protocols occur in a method that is stealthy and difficult to detect. Useful within vanilla environments,. usually invisible protocols are practiced where stealth is required.


Rituals can cover any topic the D-type so desires, however typical rituals might involve things such as: greetings, opening doors, collaring or leashing, and anything else of importance to a particular D-type.
Rituals can also include presentation, during specific times of day, physical positions, articles of clothing, all can be part of regularly established rituals.

Developing Protocols

As a Dominant:

To develop some starter protocols as a D-type, consider what things you value.
What small niceties might make your life easier and more enjoyable, what symbols have added meaning to you, what communication style do you wish to promote.

As a submissive:

What small changes are you hoping to make in yourself, what makes you feel valued, what are you trying to learn more about, and how can you make your D’s life better.
Then discuss, if you have a partner, negotiate the terms of these protocols. If you don’t have a partner, as a D – identify the protocols that you see as mandatory for any prospective s, as an s – seek advice on what protocols you can start doing on your own, and which have the most meaning to a Domme as well as to yourself.

When creating rituals and protocols, ensure they have the following criteria:

A ritual or protocol should be…

  • Able to be consistently maintained with little or preferably no Dominant maintenance.
  • Noticed by the dominant when the protocol is not followed, which creates a bother great enough to express openly.
  • Practical or it will not see regular use.
  • Assist with facilitating and enriching the s-type headspace and D/s relationship rather than detracting from them.
  • Avoid boredom and preferably guard against it.
  • Be reasonably safe as well as within negotiated limits.
  • A statement of what to do rather than what not to do.


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