BDSM Education Discord Classroom

Aftercare Plan: Part Three

How to create your own personal aftercare plan


It’s important to have an idea of what you need after a scene in order to make sure your partner is aware of your needs, and to have what you require ready to ensure you will play safely.

A good aftercare plan includes addressing your emotional needs as well as your physical needs depending on the type of play/scene you engage in.

Benefits of a Personal Aftercare Plan

  • Makes you really consider what aftercare you need for all different types of play.
  • Shows exactly what you need when negotiating aftercare.
  • Helps you plan what items and supplies you need in your aftercare kit.
  • Makes sure that none of the essential physical checks, hygiene care, comfort and rejuvenation steps are missed out.
  • Gives your play partner a clear aftercare plan to guide you safely through without asking you what you need.
  • It will ensure you get exactly what you need in the sequence you need it.
  • Makes you feel comfortable and cared for while providing for your aftercare needs.
This is an example of a flow chart broken down into the three main types of play and the three essential components of aftercare: Physical Care, Comfort and Rejuvenation.

Your Own Aftercare Plan

When you are creating your own personal aftercare plan it is essential that you focus on the following three areas: Physical Care, Comfort and Rejuvenation. By focusing of these three areas it ensures that your physical and psychological needs are taken care of properly. Having or providing good aftercare will decrease the likelihood of severe drop occurring for both a Dominant and submissive.

Below are examples and suggestions of things that you could or should include or your personal aftercare plan.

Physical Care

Making sure you tend to any physical injuries is a priority. Do a full body check for any bleeding, lacerations, abrasions, bruises, strains, sprains or swelling. To treat any minor injuries you will need your own first aid kit.

Self administered First Aid – Gauze, bandaids, antiseptic & soap – be prepared for if lacerations or abrasions occur, cleaning the skin is important, in the case of bleeding, be prepared to bandage it.

Lotion / cream – to help ease the pain of bruising and increase the healing time of skin, cream with arnica is soothing, lotions with vitamin E help repair skin

Ice packs – for deep impact, having ice on hand will help reduce the swelling – as well for lacerations ice can help what is often an underlying bruise and reduce blood flow to the area.

Painkillers – To minimize your discomfort, for pain relief and headaches

If you have any major injuries or concerns please seek medical advice or attention immediately. Always have your emergency contact details written down as you may not always be able to access your phone. It can also be helpful to make a note on whether or not they know about your BDSM lifestyle.


Ensuring that you feel comfortable and cared for will enable you to relax and unwind properly from your play time or scene. It gives you time to talk with your partner and process everything while reassuring each other.

Keepsake or sentimental items – something that brings you into a positive headspace, a stuffie/teddy, a blanky, a song you enjoy, a picture of a fond memory, a trinket – can help your mindset and give you comfort during aftercare.

Talk to your partner – tell your partner up front what your aftercare communication needs are, sharing during and after how you are feeling, changes in your mindset – continuous communication can help reduce the drop associated from the sudden change in energy and activity.

Keep a journal – writing your feelings and recalling the details of a scene direcrectly following play can help process your feelings and emotions.

Music, Movies, Drawing – including something you find soothing and relaxing can help you feel good and give you time to process calmly.

Spend time with friends – it can be immediately after or a later date, plan to talk with friends, share your feelings – can be a great outlet so you don’t feel disconnected or alone


Drink water – before, during, and after a scene, your body needs to remain hydrated to maintain cognitive function in the brain, regulates body temperature, breathing and a host of other restorative properties.

Have a snack – foods like chocolate stimulate the release of endorphins which can help slow the reduction in energy levels, natural sugars and comfort foods can also positively affect your mood.

Wear something warm – adrenaline causes the body to warm, after a scene it is common to feel cold as your body literally cools itself, having a clean set of warm clothes can help. A blanket is also another good option.

Use this template to create a plan based on your favorite kinks and fetishes for what Y/you or Y/our partner will need during different scenes and types of play.

Mistress says...The concept of an aftercare plan is something that I have personally developed over the past year or so. I felt there was a need for subs to workout what they personally needed for aftercare. I wanted to be able to provide that care without always asking what they need next. A sub should be able to completely relax, feel cared for and looked after during aftercare; the aftercare plan allows this to happen and ensure that sub gets what they need.

Acknowledgments: This article would never have been possible if it wasn’t for the hard work and dedication of cupcake. I will be forever grateful.

By Mistress Michelle

I have a passion for education and saw a need in the groups I was in to help others reach their goals through learning. There's no greater motivation for Me than helping others and I see creating educational resources as a way of helping many people at once.

I have researched and explored many topics multiple times, considered different angles, and am always surprised by how much there is still to learn. Having others respond to the topics and questions I ask related to each one is as much of a learning experience for Me as it is a rewarding experience to see the effort and growth in real time that I have inspired.

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