Mistress Michelle’s BDSM Kinks and Fetishes, Soft and Hard Limits Checklist.

Take a look at the listed kinks and fetishes and think about where each one fits into your personal limits currently. The things we love, enjoy, are skeptical about or won’t even consider change throughout our journey. Complete this list as a reflection of who you are at this point in time and journey.  

Separate the kinks and fetishes into FOUR separate lists by putting a ✔tick in the column that best represents you; kink/fetish, soft limit, hard limit, not a limit. Some of the kinks and fetishes are anatomy specific and will not apply, just ignore them and move on to the next one.

The final column is to give an indication of your current experience level for each kink and fetish. Using a scale of zero to five put a number next to each item. 

  • Zero – absolutely no experience.
  • One – tried it once or twice.
  • Two – done it a few times.
  • Three – fairly experienced
  • Four – experienced; I know what I’m doing.
  • Five – I should hold a degree for it.  

When you are done review your lists, see if there is anything else you want to add then reflect, share, discuss and negotiate with your partner(s).

Kinks and Fetishes

Things you like, enjoy, are interested in, turn you on or excite you

Soft Limits

A soft limit is something that you are hesitant about or place conditions on, but for which you may still give informed consent under the right circumstances.

Hard Limits

A hard limit is something that you won’t do under any circumstance.

Not a Limit

These are the neutral things; the things you don’t really care for or that you are just not interested in.

When you are done review your lists, see if there is anything else you want to add then reflect and share, discuss and negotiate with your partner(s).

I hope you find this activity and experience rewarding and you learn something new about yourself and/or your partner(s). 

💜MM


While this is a fairly comprehensive list, it by no means covers everything. Please add in any additional kinks, fetishes or soft or hard limits that you feel should be included in your lists.

ActivityLikeHard
Limit
Soft
Limit
Not a LimitExperience
Age Play (adult baby)
Age Play (DD/lg, DD/lb, MD/lg, MD/lb)
Age Play (Mommy/Daddy/little)
Anal equipment – small plug
Anal equipment – large plug
Anal equipment – beads
Anal equipment – hooks
Anal equipment – tail plug
Anal equipment – vibrating plug
Anal equipment – Bluetooth controlled plug
Anal Play (penetration)
Anal Play (orgasms)
Anal rimming (giving)
Anal rimming (receiving)
Anal sex (with condom)
Anal sex (without condom)
Anal equipment – inflatable plug
Anal Plug (public under clothes)
Ball crushing
Ball hitting (soft)
Ball hitting (hard)
Ball kicking (soft)
Ball kicking (hard)
Ball Stretching
Ball Torture
Ball Weights
Bathroom use control
Begging
Biting
Biting (being bitten)
Blowjobs (general)
Blowjobs (deepthroat)
Blowjobs (semen in mouth)
Blowjobs (semen swallowing)
Body Writing
Bondage (self bondage)
Bondage (public under clothing)
Bondage (restraints)
Bondage (rope)
Bondage (suspension)
Blindfolds
Branding (temporary)
Branding (permanent)
Breast/chest bondage
Caning (being caned)
CBT (mild)
CBT (hard)
CEI (cum eating instructions)
Chastity (belts/cages)
Chastity (mental without belts/cages)
Chastity (long-term)
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Consensual non-consent (CNC)
Cock and ball bondage
Cock rings/straps
Cock Torture
Cock Hitting/slapping
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Collar (day)
Collar (permanent 24/7)
Corsets (wearing casually)
Cropping (being cropped)
Crossdressing (public)
Crossdressing (private)
Cuckolding (watching)
Cuckolding (services)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Diapers (wearing)
Diapers (soiling)
Dildos (small)
Dildos (large)
Dildos (extra large)
Edging
Edging (forced)
Edge Play (general)
Enemas (for cleansing)
Enemas (scene)
Enforced chastity
Enforced bedtime
Erotic Dancing (strip tease)
Exercise (enforced/required)
Exhibitionism (hidden)
Exhibitionism (public)
E-stim (electrical play)
Feminization (private)
Feminization (public)
Figging (anally)
Figging (vaginally)
Figging (urethra)
Food Play (general)
Food Play (in/on genitals)
Food Play (anal)
Foot worship (general)
Foot worship (kissing)
Foot worship (licking)
Forced Bi (private)
Forced bi (public)
Gags (ball)
Gags (cloth)
Gags (phallic)
Gags (ring)
Harnessing (leather)
Harnessing (rope)
High Heel Wearing
High Heel Worship
High Heel Training
Hoods (wearing)
Housework (doing)
Housework (enforced)
Humbler use
Humiliation psychologicalm (private)
Humiliation psychological (public)
Humiliation physical (private)
Humiliation physical (public)
Hypnotism
Hypnotism (erotic)
Ice Play (external)
Ice Play (inserting)
Interrogations
JOI (Jerk off instructions)
Kissing (body)
Kissing (genitals)
Kissing (lips)
Kitten Play
Kneeling
Knife Play
Leashes (wearing)
Leather belt/straps (being strapped)
Leather restraints
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Makeup wearing (private)
Makeup wearing (public)
Masks/hoods
Masturbation (self)
Masturbation (forced)
Medical scenes
Mindfucks (private)
Mindfucks (public)
Modeling for erotic photos
Mummification (wrapping)
Mummification (vac-bed)
Needle Play
Nipple clamps
Nipple Jewellery
Nipple rings (piercing)
Nipple weights
Objectification
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Orgasms (forced)
Orgasms (multiple)
Outdoor scenes
Paddling (Being Paddled)
Pain (severe)
Pain (mild)
Pet Play
Prostate Massage
Prostate Milking
Pony Play
Public exposure (temp)
Public exposure (permanent)
Puppy Play 
Protocols M/s (high)
Protocols M/s (medium)
Protocols (daily/weekly requirements)
Riding crops (being cropped)
Restrictive rules on behavior
Restraints (ankle)
Restraints (wrists)
Semen (swallowing)
Semen (facial)
Semen (mouth)
Semen (body)
Semen (breasts)
Semen (vaginal)
Semen (anal)
Sensory deprivation
Serving/service (service sub private)
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as waitress/waiter
Serving orally (partner(s))
Serving orally (sucking dildo)
Serving other D’s (supervised)
Serving other D’s (unsupervised)
Sissification
Shaving (body hair)
Slapping (face)
Slapping (body)
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking (hand)
Spanking (hair brush)
Spanking (wooden spoon)
Spanking (other implements)
Speech restrictions (when/what/how)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Submissive Poses
Tease and denial
Teasing
Temperature Play (hot/cold)
TENS unit (electrical toy)
Urethral Sounds (metal rods)
Uniforms (wearing)
Vaginal clamps
Vaginal torture
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator (on genitals)
Vibrator (vaginally)
Vibrator (anal)
Violet wand (electrical toy)
Voyeurism (watching others)
WAM (wet and messy)
Wartenberg wheel
Water sports (urinated on)
Water sports (urinating on)
Water sports (swallowing urine)
Wax Play (candles)
Wearing female clothing (public)
Wearing female clothing (hidden)
Wearing female clothing (private)
Wearing panties
Wearing stockings and garters
Wearing symbolic jewelry
Weight gain (requested)
Weight loss (requested)
Whipping (being whipped)
Writing Assignments
Writing blogs/public posts
Writing Essays
Writing Journals
Writing lines
Zippers (clothespin string)