A person who is Dominant or submissive in ‘real life’ will prefer a similar role in BDSM
The Myth
Personality Types and Their Roles in BDSM
I have heard the argument both ways, that Dominants and submissives are determined by their personality types – remaining consistent to or being opposite – in their everyday / vanilla lives. It is worth exploring the arguments for each side, there has been much discussion to describe the personalities, and for each point, there is a counterpoint, a duality that is repeated within BDSM prolifically.
Science Can Prove It!
The theory that Dominant personalities will naturally become Dominant in BDSM is supported by many psychological studies. A Dutch BDSM study noted that both Dominants and submissives displayed a willingness to be open to new experiences. Dominants were seen as been ‘less agreeable’ but being well adjusted, while submissives were more neurotic and extroverted. Another study surveying Dominants and submissives found the same to be true as Dominants being well adjusted and self-aware, but found that submissives were more extroverted in social settings. What psychological studies agree upon is that Dominants have a strong sense of self, submissives to be more neurotic (emotional) and agreeable.
Are Women More Submissive than Men?
A study completed in 2014 by ‘Hébert & Weaver’ noted a striking difference by gender, namely that females in BDSM were predominantly submissive to the tune of 96% identifying as submissive, whereas only 25% of males identifies themselves as submissive. The relevance of the study to understanding roles in life and roles in BDSM is that 96% of women are not submissive in their personalities, but the argument could be made more women are in submissive roles in society – though this is progressively, and rapidly changing.
Forget You Bill Nye
Science can prove that you are more likely to take on a similar role in BDSM as you would in your everyday life. Science can also prove the existence of a 3 penised unicorn, so let’s explore what those in the BDSM scene actually have to say on the topic.
The Extroverted Dominant
The stereotype of the Dominant profile is an extroverted person, comfortable and controlling in social settings (loud). JP Robichaud describes himself as an ‘introvert dominant sadist’. He believes “people have been trained to recognize …being loud and pushy, taking up more space …means someone is in control …I don’t move through the world with that kind of energy.” JP has been practicing shibari rope bondage for over twelve years, as a rope top and has shared his performances involving rope bondage and suspension with many. How do others refer to JP’s personality? Quiet, reserved, shy, introverted.
Can You be Type A and submissive?
Meet Jennifer Bene, a submissive woman engaged in a high-protocol real-time lifestyle D/s relationship with her Dom. Jennifer describes herself this way: “I am Type-A in the by-the-book kind of way, it’s the way my brain was wired in the same way my brain was wired to be a masochist. I’m an overachiever, and I always have been. I take on way too much and then kill myself to get it all done.”
A Toast to the 25 & 4 Percent-ers in the Dungeon
We come from all walks of life, have different personalities, roles and traits that make us who we are. The submissives in our Dungeon are the 25% of men who have the courage to become vulnerable and open in our desire to serve. The Dommes are the incredible and rare 4% of women, who graciously accept the responsibility of providing direction, appreciation, and security.
The only words that define us all uniformly are Diva’s Dungeon.
Resources:
https://jenniferbene.com/2017/01/ask-me-anything-can-you-be-type-a-and-submissive/